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Love Is Not a Choice - Chapter i

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Yandere!Sebastian Michaelis x Reader
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Two Years Earlier (Part 1)

When you first met the Baroness Angelina Dallas-Burnett, she was engaged to Lord Burnett and you was just a mere eleven-year-old. You thought she was beautiful (she still is, there's just a hint of maturity in her eyes now, that sort of old maturity that have seen both the good and the bad of life). Her red hair had been up in a delicate, neat bun, a couple strands outside of the bun, curling on either side of her face. Her eyes - red and glistening with this mischievous glint - were crinkled at the edges from her always-smiling, pale face.

You had been at the party, the birthday party held for your father, though no a single sight of a family member or friend was said to be seen. It was dreadfully obvious the guests invited were merely there for your father to show off the manor, the one he'd gotten 'from that promotion he worked so dearly for'. Of course the Dallas family were invited as well, though only the Baroness and her then-finance showed up.

You saw Angelina first, purely for her bright crimson-red hair that stood out quite clearly in the crowd of bright blondes or dark browns (though the occasional black-haired male or female could be seen). You hadn't given her much thought. Why would you? As far as you were concerned, she was just yet another guest for your father to show off to. Unless your father introduced you two (which he really had no reason to), there was no need for you to talk to her.

That night, neither you or the woman now known as Madam Red spoke. She spoke to others, smiling with this sweet-looking smile but a ever-calculating sparkle in her eyes (the same one your mother often had whenever she laid her eyes on someone new.)

There was the occasional glimpse of her and her husband, always together, always talking to the same people, always polite and ever-pleasant. You knew who she was only because you'd overheard once that the woman's older sister - a Rachel Dallas, now Phantomhive - had married into the Phantomhive family, marrying the youngest and only son - Vincent Phantomhive, but you did not care.

You were, after all, just an eleven-year-old girl bored out of her mind but still polite to others, because you also had to help the family's reputation. You stayed close to your mother, being the smiling little doll you were constantly told to be. Soon it was time for bed, and so you were guided upstairs to your room by your elderly, kind maid while your parents stayed downstairs and spoke idly with the guests.

You were asleep far before the party ended, with not a single thought about the crimson-haired woman.

*

The second time you met her, you were fifteen. Five years had past, and in those long five years, a lot had happened. For instance, you're father and mother's relationship had slowly broke up, becoming forced. All the smiles and laughs they shared outside, were just a facade brought on to keep the (Y/L/N) family's reputation.

You were forgotten most of the time, the only time your mother remembered you was to ask whether or not you were doing your lessons and how well they were going. You always replied with the same 'it's fine, Mother', and as always, she ignored you and carried on with pretending they were one big happy family.

Life carried on like this for a while; you choosing to ignore the reality and problems of your family while focusing instead on the lessons your Governess taught you. You immersed yourself so deeply within your studies, you forgot about life itself. People held rumours about you, some said you died in a tragic accident, some said you had gone mad and so your parents had locked you in a basement. Many held all sorts of rumours about you, but none bothered you.

You no longer cared about what others thought of yourself, you just just cared about learning as much as you can. As you grew up, however, you were forced to focus on life because your father did the unexpected; having had enough of your mother, he demanded she leave and chucked her out on the streets. He would raise you on his own, and for exactly three months, he did. He cared and loved you like he had never did before...and then on the second day of the fourth month, something changed. He no longer cared about anything, choosing instead to focus on his alcohol and spending money unnecessarily. You were back to being raised by your maids and ignored by your parents- well, father. You never found out where your mother was after that, or if she was even still alive or not.

As time went on, it became obvious the family had lost quite a lot, not just your family. Soon the money was gone, the servants lost a job, and you and your father were as homeless as your father forced your mother to be. You were stuck since you had no clue what to do. You had a dreadful feeling, a lost kind of feeling, one only those who are stuck at a crossroads in life have, except you didn't know where each path led or how many of them you had. You just knew there were paths and nothing else, this scared you (for obvious reasons).

You were forced to steal as your father did nothing. He stayed wherever you two had found as shelter (for a while anyway) while you went out and did whatever you could to get food. You stole loafs of bread, whatever fruits and vegetables you could get, and whatever else was on sight. Of course, it didn't always work out. You were not, after all, a professional.

There were many times you nearly got caught by the police or the shop owners, but however, luckily, there were many times you managed to - barely - get out. Sometimes you even managed to get out with whatever you were trying to steal, though that was rare in situations with the police.

It was a hard time and not at all made easier with your depressed father. You truly wondered if life really was worth living. Surely, if you were meant to have a better life, none of this would have happened, right? Your parents wouldn't have argued, your mother wouldn't have been chucked on the streets, your father wouldn't have become the empty shell of a man, and you wouldn't have had to resort to stealing.

There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. But then, just as life seemed too much for you, something happened. While attempting to steal a loaf of bread from yet another town stool, you were caught by the shop owner, who shrieked out a 'thief!' so loud and high-pitched, it hurt your ears.

Of course such a high shriek caught the attention of the patrolling police, and soon a chase took place. You huffed as you ran, annoyed. Surely they could spare one loaf of bread, they've got tons more! But of course not! They're all greedy, that's what they are! You thought bitterly, before shaking your head and focusing.

You knew they were only doing what was right, and this was the only way they could get money. They didn't want their resources getting stolen. Nobody would like that.

Focus (Y/N)! If you don't, you'll trip! You screamed inside your head, running faster. You dodged every person who thought they'd try and help. You dodged foot carts, fallen vegetables that seemed determined to make you slip, and startled people. You ran and ran as fast as you could, breath coming harsh, lungs and legs screaming at you to stop, but you didn't. You didn't want to get caught.

You looked around your surroundings, searching for somewhere to hide, but the longer you looked, the more time you wasted. Not a single hiding place could be seen. That means you'll have to run further until you finally did find one. You sighed and urged yourself forward. You ran, swiftly turning corners when needed to, only ever speeding up when the footsteps of the police nearing could be heard.

Finally, after running for god knows how long, you found a good enough place to hide. An alleyway, dark with shadows. None of the police looked there, for whatever stupid reason that may be. So, deciding, you went for it; quickly you distracted them, pushing cart after cart down, forcing them to avert their eyes away from you to focus not falling, and that was when you ran into the alleyway.

You ran to the end of the alley and crouched behind a pile of rubbish, sinking as low as you could. You held your breath, though it proved hard with your screaming lungs, eager for fresh air to breath in. You waited until they were gone, and even then you waited a little longer, peeking over the pile of rubbish to see if there were any more police. There wasn't. You gratefully took a deep breathe, allowing it out as quick as possible. You breathed in and out, in and out, and the more you did so, the less it began to hurt.

This was the part you hated; constantly having to run off like some damn criminal, which alright, you were in a way, but it's not like you wanted to be! Just stop being so greedy with the food, is all you're asking! But no, of course not, that would be too easy. You thought sarcastically as you slowly stood up, still in a crouching position just in case more suddenly appeared.

You carefully walked over to the edge of the alley, peeking your head out ever-so-slightly, and upon seeing nobody, quickly turned the opposite way the police went and ran. You ran all the way back you came, eager to just get your little hideaway as quick as possible. You just wanted to shut your eyes and never open them.

Unfortunately, as you were to distracted thinking, you never realized there was people in front of you...until you went colliding into them, knocking them and yourself down. Suddenly you were falling and then you stopped, landing on something soft. You opened your eyes - having closed them on your way down to the ground -, only to come face-to-face with a young woman.

Hair as red as blood, her eyes and dress matching, she was as beautiful as one could be, and she was also very familiar. The Baroness Angelina Dallas-Burnett - or Madam Red as she was known as, for her constant wearing of red - was underneath you, with a bewildered and blushing face. That was when you realized you had just fallen on the Baroness.

You blushed in embarrassment, and quickly stood up, hoping nobody had seen (but not really surprised if someone had.) You looked behind you, terrified the police might have come back this way and noticed the commotion. Luckily there were none, and so you sighed in relief before turning- and wincing at the still comprising position you'd accidentally put Madam Red into.

You bowed to her while muttering, "I apologize, my lady. I was not watching where I was going." Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a butler come rushing towards you two, only to stop when the Baroness held a hand up. Carefully, she stood up, making sure not to step on the beautiful crimson dress. She dusted herself off before looking at you and commending in a gentle but firm tone, "It is quite alright, but I do suggest not making the same mistake twice. Not everyone is as forgiving as me."

You nodded, bowed once more and re-positioned yourself into a standing position. Then, sparing one more glance over your shoulder, you went to run around her, only for her to prevent you doing so by shooting a hand out, grasping your wrist. "My lady, are you by any chance Miss. (Y/L/N), the young and only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N)?" You tensed up and warily looked over your shoulder at her.

How did she know you? Yeah, she may have known your parents but how did she know you? After you, you had never spoken to anybody outside of the family, even during the days of the many parties your father held and the meetings your mother held with her acquaintances. So how did she know you?

She smiled suddenly, seemingly realizing something, and said, "Do not fret, my dear. I have simply been looking for you everywhere, and am quite relieved at having found you. You do not realize just how good at hiding you are, Miss. (Y/L/N)." You nodded, smiling uncertain. You wanted to tug your wrist away and run off, but you also wanted to find out why Madam Red, of all people, had wanted to find you.

"You see, I've heard of your skills, in the days your family were..." She trailed off but you knew what she really wanted to say. Complete. Not fighting. Still loving each other and paying each other attention. Though you wondered; just what skills had she heard of, exactly? You had no skills, not even stealing, as was obvious by the amount of times you had gotten so close to getting caught by the police.

You nodded for her to carry on, and she did so gratefully, "Well, you see, while not many were pleasant - most were quite degrading and completely undeserving actually -, there were some rumours, ones probably made from your mother's gossip. These spoke of you spending much time studying, delving yourself into learning as many things possible, and...well, you see, I have a nephew. A sad boy he is, he has missed out a few years of his life, and therefore has never had a governess to teach him. He is also quite busy for boarding school, so...well, what I am here to ask you for is a favour; you become the governess of my nephew, and I shall give you whatever you need."

You were so tempted to say yes, if only because of the last statement. Anything I need, huh? So shelter, food and clothing, also medicine for my father. She's willing to give me all of this, purely so I teach her nephew who is 'too busy' to go to a boarding school. Well, it seems quite simple and the rewards sound quite pleasant. Maybe I will take the offer. I mean, it's not like we don't need it. We could do with it a lot actually...

You thought about it, and finally you agreed. You would be this nephew's governess and you and your father will finally have a roof over your heads, food in your stomach and clothing on your bodies. You were quite excited. When Madam Red requested you begin the life of a governess now, you took it, and quickly reminding her you had to get your father, you waited for a consensual nod before turning and running away.

You quickly arrived at your hideaway and over to your father, who you told what had happened. There seemed to be a tiny sparkle in his eyes, one that had not been there for a while. He seemed to be just as excited about having a better life as you, or as excited as he could be at the current moment.

You two left quickly, having not a single item to take with you, and soon you were on your way to the Dallas Manor, in a carriage with Madam Red, which was being pulled by her butler, Mr. Sutcliff.

Upon arriving, you were told of who the Phantomhive child was, and what you'd be doing as a governess. While you'd do the usual things of a Governess (teaching the young child different lessons), you'd also be his Nanny of sorts. You'd make sure he was alright, gave him company when he wished for it and if he wanted to talk to someone, you'd be there for him. You'd be a Nanny and a Governess all in one, though why Madam Red wanted two roles to be done by one person, you didn't know.

Maybe she just doesn't trust many to look after her nephew, which is understandable since not only is her nephew precious to her, but he is also the only one left she has since her sister and brother-in-law did die in that fire. But then, why did she trust you? You were just the daughter of a broken man and a forgotten woman with no money to your name. All you had were the wanting to learn your mother gossiped about - apparently - and the skills of teaching others - which isn't really that hard. As far as you were concerned, you weren't nothing special. Why did Madam Red seem to trust you with her most precious nephew?

You could not find the answer, and as the day neared it's end and the darkness of the night enveloped the tall, slightly menacing manor, you realized you'd probably never get the answers because tomorrow you'd be taken to the Phantomhive Manor, where you'd teach the young boy Ciel Phantomhive. You had to admit, you were a little excited to the possibility of a better future.

You went to bed with a smile, able to forget about the questions earlier bouncing unanswered around your head. You dreamed of a better future, a happy one...

How were you to know it'd be far from that?

Coding by SimplySilent
Hey lovelies FnaF Icon [35]  (I don't even know why I just called all of you that, I'm not a big fan of pet names... I'm blaming it on sugar, lol)!
Here's the first part of Chapter 1. :) (Smile)
Hope you like it!

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DISCLAIMER TIME:
Story/Fanfiction (c) :iconwonderfulnamesgalore:
Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji (c) Yana Toboso
Sebastian Michaelis (c) Yana Toboso
Picture (c) :iconwonderfulnamesgalore:
You (c) Yourself

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Comments2
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Wyldstylez's avatar
This is so good! I'm off to reading the next chapter!